We are so selfish!

Wow! I haven’t blogged in a while. In my defense, I was way too hormonal to write anything meaningful!

Anyways, what I want to talk about today is all the shit going around our world and our reaction to such tragedies as a society and as individuals.

 

People are talking about the Newtown shooting, the stabbings in China, the gang rape in Delhi everywhere. I feel bad but, all I want to do is tell them to shut the fuck up and move on. What are we going to do? Can we bring back the lost lives? Can we fix a broken heart?

We are glorifying these horrible tragedies today, and by tomorrow all is forgotten. We pray and praying is great for our own sanity and our peace of mind. But let us be real. Praying cannot undo the wrong inflicted upon the victims. Everyone comes in this world with a destiny.  It was their destiny and we cannot control everything that happens.

We are all still individually responsible for everything that happens in our world. We can’t stop everything, but we can try  not to make it worse.

Instead of complaining about what someone else did or what the government needs to do, we need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves, “What have I ever done to stop this?”

Bullshit we hear from ourselves, “well, I haven’t hurt anyone. I would never do that. What can I do, I am just a common man. I am not responsible for this.”

Not a good enough answer! It’s actually very selfish. We are making this about us, when living in our world is definitely not just about us.

We don’t own up. We are so concerned about “my” life, “my” problems, “my” job, and “my” relationships that we don’t give it a time of the day to make someone else smile.

What we need to do is, realize that every person we come across, every life we touch, every stranger we see is affected by who we are.

We should be so good to everyone that we come across that they should walk away with a feeling of more sunshine in their world. We should show love and gratitude to people so they see no reason to hurt you or anyone else because you helped them see this world with softer eyes. We should offer a helping hand to the deserving and to the undeserving as well. If everyone did this, we will have a happy universe again.

If only we let go of our egos. We are so caught up with the self created drama in our lives that it makes it impossible for us to see that everyone has shit going on in their life. 

Everyone needs some TLC. I mean EVERYONE! We hold back on being good to someone because this person is competing for the same promotion at work or she said something about you a long time ago. But that does not matter. Our ego always gets the best of us, and for what?

We are all busting our asses for these huge multimillion dollar companies that don’t think twice before letting people go. We are so worried about making money for them that we forget to earn respect for ourselves. We forget that god didn’t put us on this earth to make money.

We are so caught up that we decide where our unborn child will go to college and what profession they will be, but we forget that our priority as a parent is to make sure that child is the best human being that he/she can be.

All we need to do is, recognize that ego. Let go of hard feelings and forgive. Let our hearts feel the love around us. Be stupid, be innocent. Stop putting up unnecessary walls. Compliment someone’s smile, offer a helping hand, be nice, and say please, sorry and thank you. Don’t be afraid to be who you are. Be grateful for all the good things in life and have faith in your destiny. Let your good energy shine. Get away from things that make you sad, unhappy or angry.

Just feel happy.  It’s the best feeling in the world.

It's a Dog's life.

I have a little Malti-poo, who I adopted from a shelter a year ago and brought to India with me. I don’t know what I would do without him.  After I rescued Charlie I have gained a whole new perspective on animals.

Stray dogs are a common sight all around India. I have seen them around growing up, and it never phased me. But now that I know about the love these animals possess, it really kills me to walk by so many strays around here.  How can someone walk by a stray dog with big ole’ black eyes, plopped ears and just curled up like a baby. I know, I HAVE to stop and feed them and pet them. I just wish I could just bring them all home. Sadly, that would not solve the larger issues behind this problem.

This issue shapes the way Indian society thinks of animals in general.  This population is so busy trying to survive that, animals are on the bottom of list of priorities.  This results in lack of products and services available for animals. Pet dogs are not allowed in most public parks/gardens. Most grooming salons usually mean an unsanitary shave for your beloved pets. Even when I take Charlie on a walk, I have seen people freak out; because they think he will bark and bite. They automatically relate animals to sickness and series of treatments or shots.

While there are people who are scared or even disgusted by animals, there are also people whole let dogs hang out on their premises. They feed them and love them and even take them to the vet. I was fortunate enough to meet a kind soul who looks past the fleas, or smell or even an infected coat of a stray dog.

Meet Mr. Nimesh Mandliya:

Middle aged Tailor, who does alterations at a small Tailor Shop in Malad. He earns between 200-300 rupees per day; that’s about $4-$6 per day. He takes Rs. 60 out of that every day to buy low sugar biscuits and milk for stray dogs. He has taken numerous sick dogs home, nursed many of them to health, but he has also lost some of these angels.  His current Project is Jugnu.

Someone dumped Jugnu outside Godfrey Tailors when he was only a 2-3 weeks old. Nilesh says,  Jugnu almost didn’t make it. Jugnu couldn't see anything when he found him. Nimesh has kept consistent with treatment and thankfully this little pup is now 3 months old, and doing much better and he can see!! He still has some stomach problems but Nimesh and his brother Bhavesh are getting him treated. When I went to interview Nimesh, Jugnu was in the shop sitting next to Nimesh.

While I was there I saw three dogs come in and eat. Nimesh told me about many other dogs he has rescued and saved in last six months and God bless this man, because he may not have all the money in the world but he has the biggest heart I have ever seen.

 If you are reading this post today, Please do not be afraid of a stray, it is more afraid of you than you are of it. It can sense your energy.  If you are docile, it is docile. So take a minute out of your day and a skip a cigarette or a coffee and feed a stray. If possible please Rescue and adopt a stray.  It will give you happiness that you could have never imagined. As for me, I promised Nimesh I will drop off a bag of dog food every time I can. He is barely making ends meet; this is the least I could do.

Far from Simple

I am a simple girl; I like my stuff clean, simple and basic. It doesn’t take much to impress me, yet I am pretty disappointed with Mumbai when it comes to finding substance.

Simple, Straight forward, Effortless- Does not really exist anymore.

Be it Food, Clothing, or even Religion, It’s all so complex.

Food:

I feel every-time I want to go out and eat; I am threatened by the overly populated menus. There are 100’s of items that are variations of same stuff. 

Let’s take this particular eatery for example. It is actually vegetarian and very small, but still there are fifteen different kinds of Biryani or Pulav entrees to choose from. That doesn’t sound so bad right, but the menu also consists of:

Ten different Papaddums

Fourteen Pav-Bhaajis, ten different kinds of Pav

Eight sandwiches

Twenty- three dinner entrees

Nineteen appetizers

Twenty drinks.

It takes a customer longer to choose than it does for the cook to make it.

Just give me some damn Pav-Bhaaji, do not ask me what kind of Bhaaji, do not ask me what chutney, do not ask me what kind of Pav, just give me some good ole’ Pav-Bhaaji!!

The worst part is, there is so much choice but no quality. Most food tastes no more than average or even bad.  

And you thought Cheesecake factory menus were too elaborate huh!

Now given I grew up in a restaurateur family, my standards are pretty high, so this might not hold up with most people.

P.S. This holds true for most of the high end restaurants as well.

Clothing:

Same prints, same styles, same tacky patterns with glitter and embroidery. What’s a girl to do to find basic clothing?  Even if I do find something I like, sizes are way off.

I am not a petite woman by any means. I am a size 12, blessed with some curves. But there is no reason I should not fit in a XXL shirt when, I used to wear a Medium-Large clothing back home.  I understand there are many petite and boobless women here that the market needs to cater to, but if you are marking sizes, at least make them accurate.  It’s part of the quality and service not being given to the consumers in spite of the high mark-up prices.  As simple as that.

Religion:

On the auspicious day of Guru Purnima, Shirdi Temple of Sai Baba in Mumbai accumulated rupees 40,000,000 in holy offerings including a pair of diamonds and gold head pieces worth almost 20,000,000.

What bothers me is that Sai Baba was a simple man who wore simple garb and spent his life in streets serving the people.  Sai Baba would NEVER approve this kind of money being spent on him like that.

Why even do it? This is a country with needy and poor on every nook and corner of the way.  Why not start an education fund for the children that haven’t seen a book in their lives?  Why not pay for medical treatments of the less fortunate?

I am all for offering stuff to the lord, but I know what any god really wants. He would rather have you buy food for the poor child sitting in front of the temple than buy a fancy bouquet of flowers in offerings.

If you are reading this blog, please understand you are not getting nirvana by bribing god with materialistic things or money. You will find peace by following his lead by helping those who are less fortunate.

My point:

So, what I am trying to say is, so much food here, but no quality. Clothing and color is everywhere, but there is no room for simplicity, if I wore a simple outfit, people will think I am poor and I cannot afford over-the-top, gaudy and “stylish” clothing.  They even sucked god into this over-the-top bullshit.

This post in no way reflects how i feel about being here. I am happy here, I just hate to see everyone trying so hard to survive that they are becoming someone they are not. Simple is refreshing, Just try it once :)

INDIA...it used to be simple. (As far as I can remember)

Raksha Bandhan for Dummies

What is Raksha Bandhan?
In simple words, it's " A bond of protection".
A sister ties Rakhi, a beautiful piece of thread around her brother's wrist. In turn the brother promises to protect  her from the evil and the kray-krays.
Gifts and/or cash are involved as they are in most Indian festivities.
Raksha Bandhan usually falls in the month of August.

How does this all come together?

Step 1:  You will need Rakhis, Something sweet and  Red Tilak Powder + Rice

Tilak + Rice

Home made Pistachio dessert

Rakhis

 Step 2: The sister prays for her brother's well-being and applies the Red tilak.

Tilak

Step 3: The sister now ties the strand of Rakhi on the right wrist of her brother.

Rakhi

Step 4: The siblings feed each other a piece of the sweet, and the brother presents the sister with a gift and/or money.

Coconut Dessert

Happy Raksha Bandhan!

For the very first time in my life, I was away from my family on this day. Luckily, I was able to send Rakhis to my brothers thanks to Giftvift.com.

My lovely sister proceeded with the ceremony for me and sent me a picture.

<3

Introduction.

Hi! Welcome to my blog.

Who am I? 
 My name is Shivali and I was born in India, I lived  in New Delhi for thirteen years. I then moved to the Cincinnati, Ohio, where I did my schooling and disvovered my passion for make-up artistry. After  tewelve years I have now returned to India, Mumbai this time.
I am married to a wonderful man, and I am ready to discover this new, crazy city that he seems to be possessed by.

Why did I start this blog?
As the title of the blog suggests, I am confused. (Title courtesy of Mayank Khurana)
I should know this country, where I was born and practically grew up in, but I don't. Its very different from what it was twelve years ago. 
My friends in Cincinnati at first complained, they could not understand my thick Indian accent, now twelve years later,  my "American" accent is difficult to comprehend. 
I may know the language, I may know the culture but it's a new experience everyday. I am lost and honestly a little afraid of it. I feel like an outsider.
So, I will take you on this very crazy journey with me. 


What to expect from this blog?
I am not a writer, I capture, I feel, so I will try to capture the wonderful, and not so wonderful essence of this city with my camera.  Expect to see Food, Artistry, Culture, and just a a lot of MUMBAI!!